As a student advisor, I understand the importance of creating a welcoming, supportive environment for the students. As Vincent Tinto argues in his research on retention, relationship and a sense of community is key. "You want to go where everybody knows your name," as the song goes. And if a student feels comfortable coming to us as they face obstacles and challenges, then we are positioned to utilize our skills and tools to strengthen and motivate.
On the other hand, I see it equally important to be an agitator. Sometimes a little "tough love" is needed, and it is our role to push and challenge the student. Carol Dweck makes a convincing argument for this view in her book Mindset. To reach our full potential, we all need those people and moments that nudge us beyond our comfort zone, that create disequilibrium and difficulty. It is through these experiences, too, that we grow stronger.
Sometimes a student needs a cookie, but other times the student needs to eat his vegetables.
To me, this leads to a balancing act between being friendly and empathetic, and being tough and challenging. Key to walking this line is trust. In my very first meeting with students, I make it clear: your success is my success, and you are capable of far more than you can imagine; I am here to support you and be with you every step of the way, but I am also here to push you and challenge you. And to live into this trust, I personally have to deeply take to heart what I say, and to do my best to reach this high standard each and every day that I come to work.
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